Talkative
I have always talked a lot since I was a kid. Bearing in my mind is my mom’s threat to tape my mouth shut as I bombarded her with thousand “why” questions in a row, like what makes oranges orange.
When I met my ex (from secondary school) after a long time apart, I remember that during our conversation, he kindly remarked, much like many of my old friends, that I seemed to have remained unchanged—still talkative and prone to swiftly changing topics. Oh, I was startled and wondered: It is a compliment or criticism?
Even now, I continue to receive these types of comments. From my Filipino English teacher, from new international friends…
Listening skill
As you can guess, I’m so bad at listening. Before, I thought it might be because I’m not patient enough. I’m also wrong again. Recently, while reading an article called “Why is listening important?” I was surprised by how true the following quote was: “While you speak, your ear does not listen.” We can’t talk and listen at the same time. In other words, the more you speak, the less you listen.
Oh, wow, now I understand why I am a terrible listener. Quite often, I cut people off or talk over them a lot, which could be seen as ruthless towards people closer to me like my boyfriend, my family, or people in formal connections like the characters in my news, my coworkers, teachers, colleagues, and even my former manager.
As a result, I’ve started to push myself by trying to listen patiently. To start, I exercise in the chat boxes of social media sites. I’m trying not to say anything until my friend’s story is over. Also, I attempt to expand on the topic by concentrating on the people I’m talking to and discussing their stories or problems instead of giving an example from my own life.
Slow living
It used to be that my life ran so quickly. My entire life. When I worked as a TV reporter, I had to produce news as quickly as possible. This drove me to speed up everything in my life. Doing instead of waiting (meaning that I cannot wait for you to do it, I will do it myself). Running instead of walking. Buying instead of cooking food. Eating fast food instead of healthy, veggie food. Even for basic needs like breathing, eating, and drinking, I find that I have less and less time to myself these days. One time, when deadlines were hanging over my head, I finished my lunch in just t-h-r-e-e minutes. Well, you can understand why stomachaches are a regular “professional” illness among journalists.
Everything, except my brain. To be honest, I’m a slow thinker. In the past, I wasn’t sure about those traits, and I often wouldn’t even admit them to myself. Perhaps it’s because I always use the phrase “slow thinker” to mean “brain processing slowly,” which means “less smart.” Who wanna describe themselves as less smart, right?
However, my perspective has been changing since I studied abroad in Europe, where life is generally much slower than in Asia. It could be regarded as a turning point in my life. Living in Europe, there are lots of “conservative” things that I cannot change but must comply with. Particularly in terms of administrative procedures or appointment booking, it takes months to process. I have to learn how to integrate. Then I realised little by little that living abroad is actually a priceless gift from the universe that has allowed me to slow down in my life.
It’s the silliest thing you’ve ever heard, right? You could react: What? Living slower? In the year 2024? And you are only in your 30s, not your 50s or 60s? Oh, come on, don’t think like your grandmother does. You start living slower? Do not lie to me.
Yeah, I still cannot believe that, but it is true, and please remember, I am an honest writer. Dealing with slow living, I assume, is one of the biggest challenges for third-country students who come to study in Europe. To be honest, I’m really happy with how slowly my life is going these days.
I give myself enough time to walk, photograph, write, eat, watch, read, learn, clean, and, most importantly, breathe.
Slowly living like a snail.
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